I chose to read the article by McKinnon and the article was starting to catch my eye when the conversation about Jewish people were "Gods chosen ones', and I was like okay this part of the article is getting a little weird but then as I kept reading McKinnon explained that she didn't agree with what was going on in the conversation but she didn't want to argue so they just kept nodding their head to what that person was saying, then that reminded me of a part of the truth article where McKinnon said, "Seeking to understand what I had already deemed unreasonable and sometimes even racist, I was always pretending to be more open to them than I could have ever been." To me this quote means that even though McKinnon was disagreeing with what was going on in the conversation, she didn't want to say what she really felt because of what could happen if she did. So it made me think about should we always choose to keep the peace in a conversation if we don't agree with it?
I had a situation a few months ago with a coworker where she answered the phone and I could tell she was struggling with understanding who she was on the phone with and she was just sounding frustrated the whole time and eventually when the phone call was done, I asked her what was going on in it. She then responded saying that the persons accent was too hard to understand, she couldn't understand what letters they were saying when they were spelling out their name and then she was saying their name was too hard to spell and say. I noticed that the name was a typical Middle Eastern name that I see all the time since I'm half Lebanese but what bothered me was that she was being rude about that person having an accent and it just hurt me because I have seen countless of people be rude to my mom because of her accent and try to act like they can't understand her but my coworker doesn't understand that because she's American and has never been through something like that. Everything in me wanted to argue with her but I chose to just nod along and kind of tune her out because I didn't want to cause conflict at work but now when I think about that situation, I wish I would've said something so she could have realized how rude and inconsiderate she was being.
Hey Amina,
ReplyDeleteThe question you pose about the McKinnon article also crossed my mind. The internal fight between keeping the peace and openly disagreeing with someone is a constant in my life. I feel like there are times when one tactic is more favorable than the other however, the hardest part, for me, is understanding the situation and their likely response to it disagreement. The situation you described with your coworker is more common than one would like to think, sadly.
I have two sisters that were adopted and are black. Given that the rest of my family is white, people tend to comment on this and I have noticed a ton of microaggressions towards my sisters and family over the years. There have also been countless times where I have wanted to speak up during these occurrences, but there was not enough explicitly said to actually do so. With that being said, I can understand the feelings you have toward the scenario you had with your coworker. Great post and interesting question!
Hello Amina,
ReplyDeleteAs a half Jewish person living in America it genuinely hurts sometimes seeing even friends of mine make Jewish jokes. Some peers around me even have said the K word in front of me and go "I don't even know what that means" that is what hurts the most. Some people don't understand what is going on and how words can hurt people they think "it is just a word" but that word was used during times when ancestors of mine were being tortured in gas chambers. It has affected my entire family.
My point I am making is that ignorance is bliss for some people they really don't care or see to care about other people's struggles. These people used to say the Q word as well back in the 1980's to describe someone who was kind of a rule follower. It's gnarly to see the way some people think. I've wanted to speak up my entire life, but one thing I have learned is that you're not going to change someone's mind. Their ego will always make them feel right. It is best to try and educate rather than scold, and instead of hearing "it is so sad" we should maybe just accept the fact that the world is a coldhearted place but as long as you surround yourself with positivity then all of those losers will one day become irrelevant. I am still trying to heal with treating people with kindness everyday.